February 2012
3 posts
Instances in my everyday life that would make...
I go to open my bread. I twist the bread tie to the left, and OH, silly me, it needs to go to the right. Twist to the right, doesn’t work. …? Twist to the lef- OH MY LORD AND SAVIOR HOW DOES THIS WORK NOW!?! I’m sitting on my computer, playing kitty cannon and figuring out how t delete my MySpace. My 3 year old laptop is running at a Military-grade level. I think of the most...
December 2011
3 posts
“Call me unpredictable, tell me I’m impractical,
Rainbows I’m...”
– Frank Sinatra
November 2011
7 posts
A girl on my facebook page
posted about how much she hates the term “fml”. She has inspired me to create a new term of mild anguish, as follows: fmcsetimctntoewuatcoml. Fuck my current situation even though I’m moderately confident these negative turn of events won’t ultimately affect the course of my life.
Two amazing, innovative ideas that will be...
1. Cereal Milk. Partner up with General Mills cereal. Produce little packets like crystal light has, filled with vitamins, natural sweeteners and fine dust of ____ cereal. Mix that shit in with your milk, and you have milk that tastes like the cereal after you eat it. Every kid would love it, it would be cheap, and the parents wouldn’t mind because it would be healthy. 2. A...
October 2011
14 posts
“Why must it feel so wrong when I try and do right?”
– Scott Ramon Seguro Mescudi
September 2011
6 posts
2 tags
2 tags
Thanks, AJP.
I bet i can maı̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̨̨̨̨̨̨ke you wipe your screen
"Ain't that a kick in the head" - Hit song by...
“How lucky can one guy be, I kissed her and she kissed me.” Lesson to be learned: Women weren’t born to put out. Celebrate when the girl across the room gives you a kiss.
“I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t...”
– (via courtleighgapac)
August 2011
23 posts
7 tags
4 tags
3 tags
lol wut
you-lightupmyw0rld:
stayfg:
HOLY SHIT FUCK!!!
A list of things that remind me how I'll never be...
1. God forbid you ever where the same color on the same color. Ever.
2. The scent of your favorite body wash/shampoo/conditioner combo is also an ingredient to your favorite mixed drink(coconut, guilty as charged).
3. You’re genuinely worried about the lack of a pumice stone in your house.
4. You will never fully understand enjoying talking about cars.
5. You’ve used hair dye...
4 tags
6 tags
2 tags
My EKU financial aide died from yessing too hard.
The only thing I could have hoped for was for me...
I wanted you to be happy down there. I’m sorry it’s not everything I said it would be. I hope things get better.
Sorry, girly.
9 tags
There's an app that can make skinny people look...
I would like to see an app that made fat people look skinny.
“Uhh Dave, that’s really rude, not to mention insensitive.”
No, it’s not. I weigh 215 right now. Am I fat? No. Do I wanna know what I would look like if I had the motivation to get off my ass and do something about it? Sure. Why not.
The issue with people today is that it’s wrong to want to see what a fat...
5 tags
4 tags
7 tags
I pride myself in being a cyinc.
It works well with my apathy.
Things I've loaded at FedEx Ground that make me...
Missile heads
Weaponry
Cornhole
Ammunition
Hookah Company boxes
Wild Berry Incense
Sex toy packages
C4
Various HAZMAT packages containing flamable liquid, explosives, etc.
And yes, you ARE reading this correctly, a gold plated toilet.
I love my job.